Peepers
by Sinisstar
Summary: Raphael is the butt of a twisted prank, concieved by brothers who know him too well. And Leo doesn't wanna know. [Oneshot, Slash, Crackfic]


**Peepers **

**By: Sinisstar**

**Disclaimer: _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_** _are the property of **Mirage**, a fact that allows me to sleep better at night. Please not to be suing me you guyz!_

_**Warnings:**_ _TURTLESLASH. Please not to be reading if you is not liking teh turtlecest. CRACKFIC! _

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To say that Donatello was a little surprised by the sudden appearance of Raphael at his door would be a less than accurate statement. Specifically since the larger turtle wore a hunted expression and his eyes (always a source to steal a little courage from) were doused with an unmentionable horror. He did not pause to await entrance permission; rather, he – for lack of a better word – fled to the younger turtle's side, causing the other to gaze up at him speechlessly. 

"Raph?"

"Don."

Donatello stared. "Um, what's up?"

"Nothing." His eyes flickered to the door. Then he sat down, making himself comfortable next to his brother's chair. Really rather close to his brother's chair, in fact. "Just thinkin' I was gonna chill in here with you fer a bit."

"…Sure. Okay."

The genius brother tried to get back to work. He really did. But the close proximity of the brother in red both distracted him and made him feel just a little bit uncomfortable. Donatello did not enjoy being watched while he worked on his projects, and the way in which Raphael entered his room was nagging at him.

"Raph, what—"

"Dude, just be you for a minute. Or ten."

Don boggled. "Excuse me?"

Raph leaned in, his voice dropping to a low, husky level. "Just. Be. You. I need you to be you, fer like ten minutes."

"I'm… always me, Raph," Donatello responded, baffled.

"Yeh. I know."

"Then what do you mean, 'just be me'?"

Raph hissed, and waved his hands dramatically. "Normalcy! For ten minutes, all I need is normalcy! And right now you're the closest thing to it."

"Thanks," was his brother's dry response. Followed by a curious, "Isn't Leo the one to go to for that sort of thing? Since I'm supposedly an alien in disguise, I mean."

A ripple of shock swept through him. Raphael had _shuddered_.

"Leo's got nothin' normal left," he whispered conspiratorially. "Not now. Not anymore."

Donatello's puzzled expression was question enough. Raph grimaced. "Mikey got to 'im!"

"If this is about their relationship…" Don began, his voice taking on a lecturing tone reminiscent of Leonardo. He didn't get very far, however, for Raphael waved his hands wildly again, effectively shutting him up.

"No! Yeah! I mean…" A pause. "Mike's kinky."

"I didn't need to know that!" Donnie blurted, his face abruptly taking on a reddish hue.

"Neither did I!"

"Then why are you telling me?!"

"Because I just saw the depths of his madness!" A hysterical shout.

"…!?!?" A confused hack of epic proportions.

"HE'S MOLESTING LEO WITH PEEPS!"

-o0o-

_Meanwhile…_

"Mikey, you do realize that you must have just annihilated Raph's sex drive for the next month?"

"Yup." The peep, guided by a green hand, rubbed itself against Leo's inner thigh.

"… and you're starting to weird me out a bit?"

"Uh-huh." The peep was apparently aroused, because Mike squeezed it and white inner stuff was exposed.

"Why peeps?" Leo asked.

"Because marshmallow foreplay is magically delicious!" The peep was unceremoniously tossed into Michelangelo's deadly jaws, and he chomped happily. "It wuz Donnie's idea," he added, just as Raph let out a howl of betrayal and thundered through the lair. Seconds later the main entrance slammed shut, and Donatello appeared at Leonardo's bedroom door.

"It worked," he announced with a grin.

"VENGEANCE IS OURS!" the youngest crowed.

Don sat down and grabbed a peep, chewing on it thoughtfully even as his eldest brother gave his youngers a truly astounded look. "I shouldn't ask, should I."

"No," the other two chorused.

"Oh. Okay." Leo left it at that.

And the peeps clung desperately to one another in the final moments of their lives.

**THE END**

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_Oh dear god, what have I done. _

_Um, read and review? I guess? XD_


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